The Truth About Heaven
by RemyLeVampiress
Summary: Oneshot. Romy angst. Remy finds a way to come back to visit Rogue one last time while she sleeps to tell her the truth about heaven.


Disclaimer: The X-men, yeah they're not mine. Am I bitter and angry about this? Perhaps a bit. Is my habit of writing angst ridden stories about Rogue and Gambit a subconscious manifestation of this? Who knows? The song accompanying our sad journey is "The Truth about Heaven" by Armor for Sleep.

Rain fell from the night sky on the grounds of the Xavier Institute: School for the Gifted. Drops of liquid fell down on the cold granite tombstones of brave X-men who had passed on before their comrades. Each stone was spaced out, giving them their own privacy even in death. A lone figure roamed the make shift cemetery this night, their foot falls silent as they wove between the graves heading for the most recent one sheltered beneath the branches of a tree, it was less than a year old. Beneath the sheltering branches of the tree the figure knelt down in front of the tomb stone, oddly dry considering the down pour. A leather covered ring and middle finger reached out touching the stone, sliding over the engraving much like a blind person would brail.

_Walk past my grave in the dark tonight,  
Saw the stone and the note you left for me  
to answer your question I just had to leave,  
I just had to leave._

In Memory of Remy LeBeau. A hand of cards was fanned out above the name etched in the stone; beneath the name was the date of birth and death. A neatly folded piece of paper lay tucked just under the edge of the stone vase holding fresh roses. The words on the front, only spotted by a few rain drops that had made their way through the shelter of the branches above, read "My Swamp Rat". Remy smiled sadly and simply touched the note for the contents inside to leap in his mind.

"Hey Sugah,

It's been ten months since that day, ten long months filled empty days. Every morning I lay in bed for hours just thinking that I can't go on with the day, I can't go on living. Somehow I manage to though. I swear I can hear your voice each day telling me to get out of bed, to go out there and just make it through this one for you. That day keeps haunting me, the day you never came home from that mission, the day you left me. It keeps replaying, going to the Professors office, seeing that look on his face that said everything before he even opened his mouth. They told me how it happened and I want you to know I'm real proud of you darlin'. If you hadn't sacrificed yourself those people would still have been trapped in that prison being enslaved and experimented on. You're a hero now Remy. You never really thought people considered you a good person, but you're a true hero now and I think that even though you never said anything, it's what you really wanted in life. To belong, to be loved and appreciated. Even though I know all this, know the lives your death saved, I still hurt and die inside each day without you. Why Remy? Why did you leave me? Was there no other way to save those people and come back to me? Did you not know what it would do to me? Did you not know that I can't live without you? If you could just tell me why maybe I could move on, but you can't tell me anything anymore, you can't whisper those sweet French words in my ear, or fly in my arms, or climb on my balcony at night. So I'm left here, broken, bleeding, crying out in pain, and drowning in my loss forever until I can be with you again.

Loving you forever,

Your Chere, Rogue."

Remy had thought once that when you die, that if you made it to Heaven the pain of this world would stop. That you were immune to sadness and heart ache, but he knew the day he died that he had been wrong. At first it wasn't so bad, he had actually liked being up there in Heaven, it was a beautiful place. For a while he felt like he was missing something, it nagged at him constantly, he knew that if he thought about it hard enough he'd remember, but it always seemed just beyond recall. He had been roaming around Heaven, exploring his new home for eternity when he casually slipped his hand inside the pocket of his trench coat and felt something. Everything that had been on him the day he died for some reason had come along with him. It had been a single playing card, the Queen of Hearts. Seeing the card made everything snap back into place, he knew what he was missing. Rogue, the woman he had loved more than his life, more than his soul. His fiery southern belle. At that precise moment, Heaven changed, the sky darkened and the rain began to fall. For ten long months it hadn't changed, making Remy think that Heaven was whatever the person who was there made it. He had been trying to find a way to come back to his Rogue, and eventually found access back to Earth, coming straight to the Mansion. Remy knew where he had to go now, he had to see her, to touch her, smell her. With little more than a thought Remy vanished from the grave yard and appeared at Rogue's bedside.

She lay asleep on the bed covered with emerald green satin sheets, wearing a black cotton shirt that had belonged to Remy. Rogue had forgot to take off her make up, and evidence that she had cried herself to sleep once again lay in the trail of eyeliner that went down her cheeks. Remy sat on the edge of the bed just staring at her. God had she gotten even more beautiful since he had left? He could smell the scent of magnolias from the body wash and shampoo she used, it always reminded her of home she had told him once. Remy reached out to her, his thumb caressing her cheek as unshed tears glittered in his red and black eyes. "Chere." He whispered. Rogue nuzzled against his hand in her sleep, his name a whimper on her lips. "Remy."

Remy grew angry at the world, at the injustice of only now being able to touch Rogue in death. Leaning down he kissed her ear, "Remy know y' wanna know why he leave y' chere, an' all dis sorry t'ief can tell y' is dat he jus' had to."

_But that's not why I'm here  
I came out here to tell you it rains in heaven all day long  
I want to find you so bad  
to let you know I'm miserable up here without you_

Remy remembered the real reason he came back, he had to tell her; had to let her know that he missed her just as much as she did him. "What Remy come t' tell y' chere is dat…is dat it be rainin' in heaven all day long. Dis poor Cajun be misr'ble wit' out y'. It not all it cracked up t' be when de one y' love be left behind in pain."

_Found my way back in the dark tonight  
Couldn't wake up, not right next to you  
I traded forever to just hear you say the sound of my name_

He brushed her hair back, letting it run through his fingers. He didn't want to leave, but he knew that he didn't have much time left. "Listen chere, Remy had t' pull some strings t' get down here t' see y' once mo', an' Remy'd stay 'til y' woke up so y' could remember dis, but Remy can't. At dis point, he'd give up Heaven t' be able t' hear y' say his name again, t' have jus' one mo' day wit' y'."

_(Chorus)_

_Don't believe that its better  
when you leave everything behind  
don't believe that the weather is perfect  
the day that you die  
don't believe that the weather is perfect  
the day that you die._

Tears began to pour down his chiseled cheeks, covered with a hint of stubble that had been present at the time of the mission. He had been in too much of a rush to shave that day. "Chere, don' y' believe dat Heaven is all it's cracked up t' be. Wit' out y' Rogue it might as well be Hell. Dey ain't no sunshine any mo', no perfect weather de day y' die. It rain all d' time, it be miser'ble an' jus' awful. Gonna be dat way for Remy 'til y' wit' him up dere. But don' be in no rush girl, y' enjoy life while y' got it. Y' keep on listenin' t' Remy when he tell y' t' get outta bed each day, cause he really is de one y' be hearin. Live fo' me Rogue, don' let me steal de fire inside o' y' dat Remy love so much. Got t' go now Cher." Remy wiped at the tears on his face, trying to clear his now blurry vision. "Be watchin' y' Rogue." He said in a trembling voice, and then he kissed her lips for a long moment, taking in every detail to get him through the years until she joined him.

Remy stood in the shadows content with watching her until they called him back. Just then Rogue startled awake, her emerald green eyes darting around the room for the intruder she sensed. Remy stayed motionless, determined to remain unseen, but he should have known better. Their bond was too strong for her not to look straight where he was standing in the darkness. Rogue gasped, "Remy!" Remy smirked as he felt himself fading away and all Rogue ever saw was two glowing red orbs, one of them winking out briefly at her and then they were gone. Rogue pulled her knees up to her chest and held herself, sure that what she had seen must have been the remnant of her dream, and not the man she loved returning one last time to say goodbye.

_I came out here to tell you it rains in heaven all day long  
I want to find you so bad  
to let you know I'm miserable up here without you_

don't believe that the weather is perfect  
the day that you die...


End file.
